Dear Frank,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TALL GUY!

There’s so much I would like to tell you but I just couldn’t tell you whenever you’re available. I just couldn’t bring myself to do so; to express my feelings and I know even when you’re there, you wouldn’t really bother to be in any of the conversation.

We have been friends for like what? 2 years and 4 months? Unfortunately, now I feel like there’s nothing between us…you took this friendship for granted. Do you know how hard I try to maintain this friendship? Do you know how tiring it is? Remember the time you said you had this problem about keeping friends and that you usually lose them and such, I disagree that it wasn’t true and that it wasn’t some kind of sickness. Now, I think it is true that you are going to lose one now and that is me.

You truly don’t know how I feel, whenever you come online, I would be so happy and excited to talk to you but gradually you simply start to ignore me because I’m becoming annoying. I kept talking to you and always jumping from one subject to another quickly. I’d explained to you many times why I’d done that. One is because when I finished talking about one topic I move on, do I have to warn you that I’m going onto the next topic? Two, when your reply was so slow and such, I would get the idea that perhaps you were bored/uninterested in the topic so I move on to the next one. Third, I changed the topic because I was afraid that I would forget so I might as well say it.

You don’t know what I’m going through…when I needed a friend; when I needed someone...no one is there as they’re all too busy with their other friends and stuffs. I know we had talked about it, you asked, don’t I have any friends to talk to other than you? I’d just mentioned my reasons above and you know well that I still like you. It is odd, no matter how much you’d hurt me unknowingly, I still like you and this had been going on for the past 2 years. I don’t know whether you still feel the same for me but I guess you have changed. Old friends go; new friends come and that’s how I see the way you behave. Gaming and such are your priorities but have you ever thought about how was I? I dislike it when you ignore me during our conversation. You simply left me hanging. For example, yesterday we talked for a short while and all of your answers were short. I didn’t mind. When I carried on talking and asking you Qs, you simply stopped reply. I don’t know whether you just started playing a game abruptly or probably you were interested in talking to others about other stuffs.

You don’t know how I feel right now and I’d been thinking about it over and over whether it is worth to end a friendship because to me friendships are very important. I remember I asked you once what kind of friendship we have between us. You said it was a close friendship whereby we would share everything with each other. I think you have changed that definition around or either you have simply pulled yourself away. I don’t understand…why Jarrett and I, are able to maintain a friendship that had been going on for 6 years while you couldn’t even do so. He may not come on every day or whatsoever but he at least bothered to be the first one to say ‘Hello’. He doesn’t have many people on his Yahoo list as he usually uses AOL but he made an appoint to come online to talk to me even if it was just for a while. He would tell me how’s his life and he would also ask about mine. I guess our friendship is really ending…ending before I could even meet you or even have our aardbeien picnic which you’d promised me. I don’t know what are your priorities anyway or how you define it. You may disagree with me now and such but it is alright as I understand. You will probably realize and understand the reasons and what I’d gone through when you’re much older/in years to come.

I’m not going to say ‘Hello’ to you anymore whenever you come online. Now it is your step/turn to start off this conversation but other than that, I feel like this friendship has ended. I'm not going to walk away just yet because somehow, I'm hoping for you to save it than to discard it so pretty much you should know that I haven't totally given up on this friendship between us. I won't tell you about all of this...it is now for you to figure it out yourself on why Christine is not striking a conversation like she used to.

Take care.

Christine.