Posted this in a forum.
I'd been stupid. The reason of me being here is not because I'm crazy over Yugioh or anything associated with it. I know nothing about Yugioh but that isn't the problem. You see...I like someone and he hadn't talked to me for a week plus thus I couldn't take it one day that I'd decided to look for him. A way to have some form of communication. Finally, I found this site where he visits frequently and thus I joined it.
I tried to keep a low profile but one night, I'd decided to send him a message through this. Coincidentally, while I was reading through my message before sending it to him, he finally came on and said, 'Hello'. Thus I didn't send that message but till today, I'm not sure whether he knows that I'm Black Lynx (I left obvious clues such as pictures and et cetera).
No idea why I'm trying so hard when I have liked someone for over a year plus. How ridiculous I am...foolish I am to like him. Why am I doing this to such an extent? It may seem like I'm a stalker or something bad but I just simply missed him. Sometimes, I really do wonder if there was someone else in his life. Every now and then, I would be reading his posts and sometimes I always think to myself...'Why am I trying so hard when he just like me as a good friend?' Guess there should be a line drawn or something?
I have no FREAKING idea what is wrong with me. When it comes to love I'm so drawn into it and so foolish and naive especially. How many times have I been hurt? Mostly my relationships are long distance but he...we're not in one but yeah, I do get a little crazy about him...one of my good friends doesn't really like him and she sort of knows how he is like. I would like to spoil him with gifts thus sending him stuffs that he likes. I went to nearly every video store to check out and find whether they were selling the movie that he loves a lot. Why am I doing this? It will crush me...it will hurt me to know the truth that nothing is going to work out.
On the other hand, I have this yet another complicated situation and that is...I love someone. Someone whose character is way better than the guy whom I like. He understands me...he cares and I don't know whatz that thing that makes him so special. Could it be the charisma? The last time I talked to him was on 14th February...and today is the 6th of March. I'd been waiting for his E-mail reply for 20 days. Yes, I'm worried sick and very upset too for what is happening in my life for now. I worry for his safety because he is in Iraq...I miss him so much and he is my source of happiness thatz why the couple of weeks and days; I'd been miserable. I miss his sweet voice and him singing to me. Missing the warm feeling...Hoping and waiting for the day for him to return to his home where I could one day fly over to visit him and have that nice tight hug; just wanting to be with him. Somehow I'm not even sure whether he has abandoned me.Yesterday, I couldn't take it...I sent an E-mail to him and asked him this one simple question, 'Do you really love me?'
Gosh...these two men are really driving me crazy. I got to have one...and it is most likely and hopefully that I'll be meeting the one whom I like so much. As for the one whom I love...I have no idea when he'll be home for good. It may seemed like I can't choose but I have chosen who I want YET I just don't know what is wrong with me. I just can't get over the one whom I have been liking so much over the year plus. I would like to but I just can't.
Everyone simply all agree that long distance wouldn't work out. I defy that statement. Simply went for it...my past long distance relationships didn't work out and it got me crushed. My ex, he dumped me over some stupid ridiculous reasons and at that moment, I really spent an hour plus begging him to not give it up and that I would change to the girl that he ever wanted. The ending wasn't good but at the end, if he wouldn't have broken up with me...I wouldn't have accepted and fallen for the one whom I love. Even at that very time when I was still with me ex, I was still liking the other guy a lot...(even before I knew my love)
I guess I should stop coz it does seem like I'm going round and round and bore you. Well...you know my problem now and perhaps confuse as I didn't name the guys. I feel so uncomfortable and disturb...feeling unwanted.
I tried to keep a low profile but one night, I'd decided to send him a message through this. Coincidentally, while I was reading through my message before sending it to him, he finally came on and said, 'Hello'. Thus I didn't send that message but till today, I'm not sure whether he knows that I'm Black Lynx (I left obvious clues such as pictures and et cetera).
No idea why I'm trying so hard when I have liked someone for over a year plus. How ridiculous I am...foolish I am to like him. Why am I doing this to such an extent? It may seem like I'm a stalker or something bad but I just simply missed him. Sometimes, I really do wonder if there was someone else in his life. Every now and then, I would be reading his posts and sometimes I always think to myself...'Why am I trying so hard when he just like me as a good friend?' Guess there should be a line drawn or something?
I have no FREAKING idea what is wrong with me. When it comes to love I'm so drawn into it and so foolish and naive especially. How many times have I been hurt? Mostly my relationships are long distance but he...we're not in one but yeah, I do get a little crazy about him...one of my good friends doesn't really like him and she sort of knows how he is like. I would like to spoil him with gifts thus sending him stuffs that he likes. I went to nearly every video store to check out and find whether they were selling the movie that he loves a lot. Why am I doing this? It will crush me...it will hurt me to know the truth that nothing is going to work out.
On the other hand, I have this yet another complicated situation and that is...I love someone. Someone whose character is way better than the guy whom I like. He understands me...he cares and I don't know whatz that thing that makes him so special. Could it be the charisma? The last time I talked to him was on 14th February...and today is the 6th of March. I'd been waiting for his E-mail reply for 20 days. Yes, I'm worried sick and very upset too for what is happening in my life for now. I worry for his safety because he is in Iraq...I miss him so much and he is my source of happiness thatz why the couple of weeks and days; I'd been miserable. I miss his sweet voice and him singing to me. Missing the warm feeling...Hoping and waiting for the day for him to return to his home where I could one day fly over to visit him and have that nice tight hug; just wanting to be with him. Somehow I'm not even sure whether he has abandoned me.Yesterday, I couldn't take it...I sent an E-mail to him and asked him this one simple question, 'Do you really love me?'
Gosh...these two men are really driving me crazy. I got to have one...and it is most likely and hopefully that I'll be meeting the one whom I like so much. As for the one whom I love...I have no idea when he'll be home for good. It may seemed like I can't choose but I have chosen who I want YET I just don't know what is wrong with me. I just can't get over the one whom I have been liking so much over the year plus. I would like to but I just can't.
Everyone simply all agree that long distance wouldn't work out. I defy that statement. Simply went for it...my past long distance relationships didn't work out and it got me crushed. My ex, he dumped me over some stupid ridiculous reasons and at that moment, I really spent an hour plus begging him to not give it up and that I would change to the girl that he ever wanted. The ending wasn't good but at the end, if he wouldn't have broken up with me...I wouldn't have accepted and fallen for the one whom I love. Even at that very time when I was still with me ex, I was still liking the other guy a lot...(even before I knew my love)
I guess I should stop coz it does seem like I'm going round and round and bore you. Well...you know my problem now and perhaps confuse as I didn't name the guys. I feel so uncomfortable and disturb...feeling unwanted.
posted by CHRIS.TINE | 8:57 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home